it is still the same
the energy is still there: just as intense as ever
she corrected me it has been 22 years, she kept track, of course
I need not remind myself of the time it just wears on my soul like a to do list of impossible tasks
how do you reconcile this type of love and the choice of the one you love to live in straight society because she can't be "female, black and gay in this country"
I understand, and it breaks me
I understand the fear for me, for our lives
after all it wasn't as if we could hide
our love was like a torch that lit the night sky for miles: everyone could see it even the most ignorant person, even those in denial - like her mother
if they saw us together they knew the passion between us, the pure unconditional love between us
and it seemed to anger some
maybe because they had never known it
maybe because they choose to ignore their own hearts
maybe because of who we are
but it scared her too much these random responses to our radiant love
she wanted to protect me
I have always charged ahead into the face of any prejudice, demanding a change, demanding an apology
she knew the danger, saw it as too great a risk
I saw the danger and felt no other choice
I am not brave I am driven
it is not something I think about, these slights and insults injure my soul
they raise my anger to a fevered pitch that must be spoke must be acted upon
I have no choice it would be like swallowing poison if it was left unsaid
and it drove her away
we both had to be who we are
even though it meant that we couldn't be together
still 20 years later and my heart races at the sight of her
it is the same for her
complete passion
unconditional love
soul mate
I know there are more than one soul mate for everyone, but once you open a connection to one of them it is quite overwhelming
we shall take it slow this new/old friendship
be gentle with each other
be what we are to each other with the limits of time and other relationships
it isn't easy not just taking her i my arms and kissing her
but it is 20 years later
my edge is tempered slightly by the battles with time
really slightly
and I am blessed to know such unconditional love